The Discovery

Something profound was going on beneath the surface, something that I would later come to understand as a dynamic principle at work. I began to notice it operating in the lives of people with whom I’d interact. But it took me a while to connect the dots on exactly what it was. I soon discovered that this principle has always been there but because of its subtle nature tends to remain hidden. It’s like gravity and wind—you can’t actually see them, but their effect is obvious. This powerful principle has been utilized by successful ‘dream seekers’ throughout time. It’s not complicated; it’s really very simple. Here it is: 

“You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know.”

Before you balk at the simplicity of that statement, let it sink in a bit. I’m telling you it’s true. I’ve seen it work over and over again. Let me say it again.

“You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know.”

Please go back and read it once more, and this time read it aloud. You might say to yourself, “Okay, fine. Got it, next” or you might completely dismiss it as not important and totally miss out on how this principle can work for YOU.

WHO Tips:

• Don’t make the mistake of thinking you don’t already know enough people who can help you on your quest. It’s really not the best use of your time & energy to start sending e-mails out to people you don’t know or having lunches with strangers.
• If you really want to pursue a worthy goal or make a significant change in your life, don’t go external in your approach, go internal. Here’s what most people do: they start looking outside their “WHO” network thinking their success will be found “out there” somewhere. That doesn’t work! Don’t expect strangers or even acquaintances to care about you or your goals unless they perceive a desired benefit for themselves. On the other hand, the “caring quotient” goes way up as your relationships deepens. So cultivate your “field of dreams” with your family & friends.
• Better Relationships + Deeper Friendships = Success! 

The Secret to discovering Your Dream!

Is it possible that you once dreamed of living a “different life” from the one you’re living now but just can’t remember that “something” for which you’re so uniquely and wonderfully wired?  Today, many of us have gotten sidetracked and forgotten our “original dream.”  This memory lapse has become epidemic for both young and old. We’re so busy dealing with job, economy, school and life issues that we’ve forgotten some of the “important things” so essential to who we truly are. If that statement resonates with you-don’t despair there’s hope!

WHO-Tips

1. I wrote a book just for you! It took me 4 1/2 years to do it! I’ts a simple read! It’s called The Power of WHO! Get it! Read it. Let it sink in! If you don’t like to read books, I also did it personally on Audio for easy download to your ipod, ipad, iphone, etc.
2. Take a few days off by yourself and clear your thoughts. This is best accomplished in a calm, quiet, soothing environment that inspires—a place where the constant noise of the regular world is not heard. Nature does that. Go to where you get inspired–Is it a lake, a mountain, stream or a forest? Is it out on the farm, the ranch or maybe you’re like me & love the sounds of the ocean?  Take your mind back to where it all began, let go and begin to “dream out loud.” I call this a “wilderness journey.” Those of us who go discover new realities we were unaware even existed.  On this journey, ask God to remind you what you always wanted to do. Bring a pad of paper-take notes. Yes, bring some inspiring music, but Disconnect from everything else. No phones, texting, emails, computers, TV’s, no people-just you out their soul-searching!  Beware: the first day you won’t like being alone with yourself. Day two: your worried that you forgot how to listen to that still voice or that your not worthy to hear a voice.  Day three: you begin to remember…grab your note pad! This is the beginning, the reset has begun, it’s the first day of your life!
3. But…I’m too Busy!  Bob, I don’t have time to do that? Of course you do! You just have to decide that enough is enough! Listen, if you want something you never had, you’re going to have to do some things you’ve never done! It’s only 3 days out of your life! Time away is the key. Nothing else I’ve found works. No exceptions. No excuses. It’s your life. Don’t miss the call, the purpose, destiny! The good news is –It’s just around the corner! Will you go?
4. I had my opportunity! I missed it!  Don’t worry, you’re never too late or too early to get back on the pathway to your dreams! All I need you to do is stand up, get out of the bunker, leave the rut behind! Your current circumstances do not disqualify you from your dream. Don’t listen to that lie!
5. I’ve lost my Self-Esteem! Great, perfect, then let’s go get it back! Because, I’m here to tell you that “You’re a treasure chest of gifts/talents!” “You’re Awesome!” “You were created for maximum performance.” “You do one thing better than anyone else in the world” and you know it deep down inside! You just need… some time away to find it! Once you know the WHO and the WHAT-you’ll never be the same.
6. I’m going to focus on the next generation! I hear that a lot!  Many people have given up on their dreams and now focus in on their children’s dreams. If thats you, the only problem is this: when you quit on your dream–they’re watching and they’ll quit on their dream!  It’s a Generational Curse. So, please… NEVER GIVE-UP! God needs you, We need you, You need you, Your kids need you!

I propose a 3 day “WHO Challenge!”  Just three days out of your life. Make that first step! Make it for you–For your legacy. Then write me when your done about your Wilderness Journey! Ill blog about it! Get ready…Life will surprise you sometimes with something so wonderful you can’t believe it.

Five Tips to Help You Help Your Friends Who are Out of Work!

As CEO of Eastman & Beaudine, one of the major executive search firms in the country, I get calls every day from people who share their hurt after losing their job. Some tell me they didn’t even like their job, in fact, they felt they were tolerated and not celebrated in it. But… the thought that they were now
being outplaced, downsized, pink slipped, asked to take early retirement or even worse being fired caught them so off guard that they felt like they were hit by a brick. For many,  it’s so disruptive and demoralizing that it becomes…too much to handle.

Today, there are still close to 14 million people out of a job–People all around you. Their world has been turned upside down. Who are these people? Do we care? Of course we do! They’re our friends, our family, neighbors, our sons and daughters coming home from the military as well as members at our local church.  This problem hasn’t gone away and yet the newspapers don’t seem to talk about it much anymore,  even though it impacts every family and community? How can that be?

So what exactly do You say to people when you hear they lost their job? What advice do you give a close, dear friend? Do you act as if it didn’t happen, thinking they would tell you if they really wanted to? Do you wait for them to reach out? Well, that might be ok if you’re just an acquaintance, but it’s not ok for friends… is it?!

What are they feeling? I can tell you from experience, they’re embarrassed & panicked. They’re thinking “What am I going to do now?” “Will I be able to find another job?” “What are people going to think about me?” These fear questions can paralyze people. They seem to lead them to the same emotional place: isolation and fear. When people feel threatened it becomes very difficult to tell ourselves the truth. A fog rolls in and takes residence in our minds and all of a
sudden–we’re not able to think clearly. So who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Friends or strangers? Unfortunately people aren’t turning to family & friends and they are the Key! It’s these loved ones that can step in and call a halt to fearful thinking and can intercept us on our dark path—they can remind us that we’re not alone, we’re not isolated and that we have a future and a hope!

So How Can You Help Your Friends? Here are FIVE tips to SHARE!

1. Reach Out! Not by text or email-Call them or stop by their house. Tell them you heard of their situation, you’re sorry this has occurred but go ahead and shock them by saying: “Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!” Why? Because they now get to pick a job they truly Love, with people they Love, in a place they Love, where their family Loves it and where they can do it for all the right reasons.  Best of all-You want to help! Set up a coffee/lunch to strategize next steps!
2. In the meantime, tell them You want them to read a Special book that will encourage and help them called The Power of WHO! My hope is that you’ll Give them the Book! It’s a great declaration of friendship! I am always touched when someone sends or gives me a book. They won’t forget it! Sign it to them in the front of the book. Say something like this: “Friends are treasures! Thanks for your friendship & love all these years!! When I read this book, I thought about us! I’m All-In!”
3. Teach & Review the 100/40 strategy that I outline in the book when you meet with them for lunch! Remind them: “You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!” In fact, explain the amazing truth that “They already know someone right now who knows another person who will introduce them to the person they need to meet.” Tell them the Good News: No more colds calls, No more mass emails, No “networking groups” you have to go to where you’re forced to sit in pairs with people you have no connection with and talk about issues and problems in each other’s lives- Going to these is one notch above a sharp stick in the eye! It’s just about friends helping friends!
4. When You make the “Extra Effort” to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that’s never wasted. And what your Friend desperately needs more than anything right now is encouragement from their trusted friend-YOU. They need you to put a firm hand on their shoulder to help stabilize them. They need you to remind them that they are a treasure chest of gifts and talents and that there are still greater things ahead for them! This is where family/friends can really make a difference in boosting morale! Your love helps them believe again!
5. Finally- be a “Moment Maker!” Most people can recall that “One Special Person” who took timeout to help them and it turned their life around for the better. When someone you admire and respect believes in you, it changes everything. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Help a Friend today! Reach out! Creating these extraordinary moments doesn’t cost you a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

Click SHARE— To “Help a Friend” in Need!

Dreams on hold? Settled for a counterfeit Destiny? Not Today!

The world will try to distract you. If you’re not careful, you’ll actually forget “Who you are” and end up settling for a second- or third-best identity.

Perhaps it’s time to begin once again to remember . . . Remember what? That you’re a treasure chest filled with amazing talents, gifts, capabilities, dreams, aspirations, originality, passion, power, encouragement, and joy. That you’ve been designed for maximum performance. Love what  Uta Hagen once said: “We must overcome the notion that we must be regular… it robs you of the chance to be extraordinary and leads you to the mediocre.”

WHO-Tips
1. You’re not mediocre! It’s Not True! Choose to turn off that negative self-talk and choose, instead, to think positive, creative, life-giving thoughts.
2. Start working today on your gifts/talents. Enjoy each step in the learning/growing process & be willing to pay the price.
3. Remember: there’s only one you. There may be lots of people who have influenced you even to the point that you’ve tried to emulate them, but…you’re totally unique. We need your gift! It will make a difference!
4. Don’t suppress your originality, uniqueness, and authenticity! If you do you’ll  lose touch with your source of energy and natural creativity.
5. Follow the call. The inner voice. The Passion! Don’t be fooled into pursuing just position, power, &  money, or you’ll miss out on the true treasures of peace, happiness, and a deep-down contentment. These are the things that truly satisfy.
You Got WHO!

The Truly Successful Person Inspires and Helps Others!

Nobody knew… that the young man with a beard sneaking on to the lot pretending to work there would one day become the most famous movie director in the world. Eventually, Steven Spielberg got the break he needed and forever changed the course of the motion picture industry. Somewhere along the way, he had a strategic moment with a “Somebody” who encouraged him and opened a door for him.

Take a moment this last day of the year & remember back on the times in your life when others were that “Somebody” for you. Perhaps it was someone who helped you through a difficult passage in your life or got you that important interview or hired you when no one else would or gave you a great reference— “just because.” Let’s challenge ourselves this year to step outside our comfort zone, even when it’s seemingly inconvenient, and be “moment makers” in 2011.

7 Power of WHO Tips:

1. Most people can recall that special person who took the time to create a “magic moment” for them that turned their life around for the better. Call them today and Thank them!
2. When someone you admire & respect believes in you, it changes everything. Lets be that for others!
3. All it takes is one great mentor, coach, or friend to share the insight that will help you leapfrog over your competition or help get you back on track. But this will only happen if you’re humble to listen & accept their help.
4. Everyone has a “Who” network, a “community of friends” that’s been built up over many years with love & unconditional giving. These are friends who genuinely care about you & share your core values. This particular network of friends, if asked, will actually come to your aid. They want you to succeed. They want you to achieve your goals. And they love you just the way you are. But you must-Ask!
5. Don’t try to do this thing called “My Way.” I’ll just let you in on a basic truth about life. It’s designed so that there’s a built-in guarantee that you don’t always get to do it your way. You’re going to need some help from time to time. Your “Who” friends can do just that!
6. The family/friends you we’re given in life will undergird you with a power you don’t have on your own. They’ll ask their “Who” to help you get you where you want to go. They’ll open doors for you that you couldn’t open alone and get you connected.
7. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Creating extraordinary moments doesn’t cost us a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

**You hold the access key to your friends & families goals/dreams. You can be that “Somebody” this year! What an opportunity! Be Ready! Remember, Reach Out & Re-Connect! Happy New Year My friend! God Bless!

“Anyone on a great quest is looking for clues that will help guide them.”

Sherlock Holmes became world famous for his uncanny ability to perceive clues. He saw what others couldn’t until he pointed them out. This remarkable gift of “seeing” most often revealed clues hidden in plain sight. You and I need the ability to detect the clues life sets before us. They’re actually easy to see, but, as you and I know, we often miss the obvious.

When you’re daydreaming, where does your mind wander? Do you have a recurring dream? I’ve asked these questions of countless people over the years and the most common response has been “I just don’t know.” They go blank. Just when they need direction, purpose, and perspective, they come up empty. Too many dream seekers never decide “What” they want to do in life. They’re bewildered by the multitude of choices that can cause them to lose hope in finding that “one thing” they were meant to do. When that happens they commit a colossal blunder. They settle for whatever comes along because it’s convenient. It’s the path of least resistance. Big Mistake!
Here are 5 Power of WHO Clues to look for:

1. The Recurring Dream: If you haven’t heard It in awhile, let me remind you that “you have an assignment, a purpose, a dream all your own that you need to discover or rediscover.”  This dream is unique to you, & the fact that you still have this dream should speak loudly to you!
2. Gifts & Talents:  What are you just naturally good at? You’ve always been good at it. It comes easy to you. It’s not uncommon for people to overlook their unique gifts & talents simply because they don’t see them as any big deal. But they are a Big Deal! Talk to your family/friends! They have a perspective of your gifts & talents that you just might be unable to see.
3. Birds of a Feather:  You have friends & friends of friends who will help you simply because they feel you’re part of them, they are part of you, and you like each other—don’t take this for granted. They can & will help you if you’ll ask them! So ask!
4. Rejection: Rejection is a severe teacher but can be even more instructive than favor because it forces you to come to grips with “who you really are” and “who you’re not.”  It lets you know “where you don’t belong” and “who you don’t belong with.”  The sooner you get this, the better off you’re going to be. Don’t worry-you’re not alone! You have family/friends out there who will help you.
5. Do what you Love:  Doing what you “love” is one of the most essential components of finding your Dream. So start looking around the landscape of your life for people who love what you love. Talk to them. You’ll be surprised to discover that you already know someone right now who can open a door for you—someone who likes you enough to give you that reference, endorsement or testimonial you need to close the deal/get the dream!

Don’t View the Current Roadblock in Your Life as a Disaster. Just Take the Detour!

Detours take you off the main road into unfamiliar territory. Unexpected turns can disorient you unless you have the rare ability to stay alert and immediately acclimate to your new circumstances. When you hit a detour (and “hit” is the proper expression because that’s what it feels like), the first thing you need to realize is that your windshield is a whole lot bigger than your rearview mirror. You can’t get back on the old road. That road has run out. It will do you absolutely no good to dwell on the past. Order yourself, “Eyes forward!”

There are 5 rock-solid rule regarding detours that will help you tremendously while you traverse the bumpy roads of life. I want you to write them down and keep themwhere you’ll see it every day until it becomes a part of you, for it will be a very powerful ally. It’s that important. It will give you the power to maintain your equilibrium as you encounter the detours.

Power of WHO Tips:

1. Regard the unknown as friendly and ultimately beneficial.
2. Remember, when you come to a roadblock don’t fret-Take the detour!  Detours are not permanent. They’re not the road to your destiny. It’s a necessary but temporary side route.
3. Perhaps there are some things you need to acquire or learn on this detour. Maybe there’s someone you need to meet who holds the key to your destiny and who will help you succeed.
4. A detour could also mean you help someone else achieve their goals, and in the process discover some key elements you’ll need to accomplish on your own.
5. Learn to view every problem you encounter as “an opportunity in disguise.” Don’t get angry and don’t get discouraged when you are called to a stop or pressed off the main road. Remember, the road to success is always under construction.

Mike Singletary and The Power of WHO

I had the opportunity to hear Baylor University football great Mike Singletary give a motivational talk to the Baylor basketball team as the season was about to begin. Baylor’s outstanding basketball coach, Scott Drew, asked Mike, “When you first came to Baylor, you weren’t really expected to make the football team. So, when did you decide you wouldn’t just make the team, but you’d be a starter? Not just a starter but an all-conference linebacker? Not just all-conference, but someone who achieves all-American status? Not just all-American, but an NFL player? Not just an NFL player, but an all-pro eight times, going to the Pro Bowl ten times? And finally, not only that, but becoming a Hall of Fame linebacker recognized as one of the ‘top three’ players to ever play the game at your position? When did you decide all that?”

Mike responded, “Day one! When I got to campus the first day, I went immediately to the defensive coach and asked him if he would write down exactly what I needed to do to become the best defensive player who ever played at the university. The coach laughed and said, ‘That’s nice, Mike, but let’s not worry about that just now. How about just trying to make the team?’ I wouldn’t take that for an answer, so I said, ‘Coach, please, write down for me exactly what I have to do, and I’ll do it!’ The coach was stunned, and I’m not sure he knew exactly what to put on paper.” After thinking about it for a couple of days, the coach came back with a list.
It was broken into three parts:

1. Robust Physical Goals. This would mean lots of training time in the weight room. (If completed, it would make Mike the strongest player on the team.)
2. Nutrition. Eating the right foods in the proper amounts and not eating certain other foods.
3. Study. Extra time spent in order to understand all facets of Baylor’s defensive schemes. (This would require Mike to spend hours and hours watching film on the teams he would face, dissecting their offensive strategies.) Mike then stopped and told Scott’s team: “Everybody wants things and has dreams, but that’s not enough if you want to be the best.
   

Power of WHO Tips

1. All jobs have competency standards that require a fundamental knowledge, ability, or expertise in a specific subject or skill set.  Attaining these basic standards of competence requires a price to be paid. It takes study, practice, and a strong work ethic.
2. Be Like Mike! Be willing to pay the price. This requires vision and a plan with specific goals written out. Once Mike saw the plan and the specific goals the coach wrote out for him, he knew it would be tough. There just weren’t enough hours for all this plus the study and social aspects of college life.  Something would have to give, and it couldn’t be his studies. The rest is sports history.
3. Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.

In Trouble? Where do I turn? Who do I call?

You know, Charlie, life’s like a deck chair. Some people place their deck chair so they can see where they’re going. Some turn it around to see where they’ve been. Others, Charlie, place their deck chair right in the middle of the action to see what’s going on all around them.” Charlie sighs and says, “I’m just trying to get mine unfolded!” —Charles M. Schulz

Some of us are a lot like Charlie…We’re so busy just dealing with job and life issues that we can forget some of the important things so essential to who we truly are.  Perhaps it’s a distant dream, a sensation that keeps popping up, but it’s been so long since you’ve consciously thought about it that you no longer connect the sensation to the dream. Too many have gotten sidetracked and forgotten their original dream, and are now spending their lives doing derivative work. This memory lapse has become epidemic. Where do I turn? Who do I call?

Power of WHO Tips

Stop immediately and call a ‘WHO’ friend.”  

What’s a “WHO” friend?

• A “WHO” friend will call a halt to fearful thinking by insisting you stop listening to your own negative self-talk. In the face of those lies they will start speaking truth, the truth about your value and uniqueness, the truth about your accomplishments, and the truth about the value of your dreams and goals.
• A “Who” friend will intercept you on the dark path you’ve taken and redirect your steps back on to the path of light. They know you, care for you, and will remind you that you have a future and a hope.
• A “Who” friend knows your true identity and won’t let you forget it. When the “Power of Forgetfulness” tries to roll in—you need your “Who.”
• It’s interesting to look back and see how the patterns woven into the fabric of our circumstances have led us to where we are now. But if you’re going to fulfill your destiny in life you’re going to need some wise friends and advisers to help you see a vision of your future that, perhaps, you can’t see yourself or you just plain forgot…

Big interview ahead? Pick your references carefully. Here’s 5 tips!

 

One of the biggest names in college basketball coaching called me on behalf of a candidate. The only problem was that the big-time coach mispronounced the guy’s name that he supposedly knew so well. Ouch! I wasn’t impressed. As a matter of fact, it had the opposite effect. Pick your references carefully.

Power of WHO Tips

1. Having people who barely know you make calls on your behalf is risky. It’s a potential minefield simply because you don’t know how the people you’re using as references are being perceived on the other end.  So, tread lightly and choose wisely.
2. If you happen to know the hiring person’s best friend or boss/mentor—now that’s gold! Doing the research to find out if you know any friends or associates of the hiring executive is time well spent.
3. There’s another unseen danger with references. Having worked with thousands of candidates during the last thirty years, I can confidently predict that if you give me six or seven references, one of them will trash you. It really hurts to know that the person who trashed you is a name you gave as a reference. That one bad reference could cost you your Dream Job.
4. Make sure that all the names you provide as personal references come only from your “Who” friends.
5. Having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When someone else says you’re great, you are! So choose your references carefully and you won’t have to toot your own horn.