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Five Tips to Help You Help Your Friends Who are Out of Work!

1 Jun

As CEO of Eastman & Beaudine, one of the major executive search firms in the country, I get calls every day from people who share their hurt after losing their job. Some tell me they didn’t even like their job, in fact, they felt they were tolerated and not celebrated in it. But… the thought that they were now
being outplaced, downsized, pink slipped, asked to take early retirement or even worse being fired caught them so off guard that they felt like they were hit by a brick. For many,  it’s so disruptive and demoralizing that it becomes…too much to handle.

Today, there are still close to 14 million people out of a job–People all around you. Their world has been turned upside down. Who are these people? Do we care? Of course we do! They’re our friends, our family, neighbors, our sons and daughters coming home from the military as well as members at our local church.  This problem hasn’t gone away and yet the newspapers don’t seem to talk about it much anymore,  even though it impacts every family and community? How can that be?

So what exactly do You say to people when you hear they lost their job? What advice do you give a close, dear friend? Do you act as if it didn’t happen, thinking they would tell you if they really wanted to? Do you wait for them to reach out? Well, that might be ok if you’re just an acquaintance, but it’s not ok for friends… is it?!

What are they feeling? I can tell you from experience, they’re embarrassed & panicked. They’re thinking “What am I going to do now?” “Will I be able to find another job?” “What are people going to think about me?” These fear questions can paralyze people. They seem to lead them to the same emotional place: isolation and fear. When people feel threatened it becomes very difficult to tell ourselves the truth. A fog rolls in and takes residence in our minds and all of a
sudden–we’re not able to think clearly. So who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Friends or strangers? Unfortunately people aren’t turning to family & friends and they are the Key! It’s these loved ones that can step in and call a halt to fearful thinking and can intercept us on our dark path—they can remind us that we’re not alone, we’re not isolated and that we have a future and a hope!

So How Can You Help Your Friends? Here are FIVE tips to SHARE!

  1. Reach Out! Not by text or email-Call them or stop by their house. Tell them you heard of their situation, you’re sorry this has occurred but go ahead and shock them by saying: “Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!” Why? Because they now get to pick a job they truly Love, with people they Love, in a place they Love, where their family Loves it and where they can do it for all the right reasons.  Best of all-You want to help! Set up a coffee/lunch to strategize next steps!
  2. In the meantime, tell them You want them to read a Special book that will encourage and help them called The Power of WHO! My hope is that you’ll Give them the Book! It’s a great declaration of friendship! I am always touched when someone sends or gives me a book. They won’t forget it! Sign it to them in the front of the book. Say something like this: “Friends are treasures! Thanks for your friendship & love all these years!! When I read this book, I thought about us! I’m All-In!”
  3. Teach & Review the 100/40 strategy that I outline in the book when you meet with them for lunch! Remind them: “You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!” In fact, explain the amazing truth that “They already know someone right now who knows another person who will introduce them to the person they need to meet.” Tell them the Good News: No more colds calls, No more mass emails, No “networking groups” you have to go to where you’re forced to sit in pairs with people you have no connection with and talk about issues and problems in each other’s lives- Going to these is one notch above a sharp stick in the eye! It’s just about friends helping friends!
  4. When You make the “Extra Effort” to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that’s never wasted. And what your Friend desperately needs more than anything right now is encouragement from their trusted friend-YOU. They need you to put a firm hand on their shoulder to help stabilize them. They need you to remind them that they are a treasure chest of gifts and talents and that there are still greater things ahead for them! This is where family/friends can really make a difference in boosting morale! Your love helps them believe again!
  5. Finally- be a “Moment Maker!” Most people can recall that “One Special Person” who took timeout to help them and it turned their life around for the better. When someone you admire and respect believes in you, it changes everything. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Help a Friend today! Reach out! Creating these extraordinary moments doesn’t cost you a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

Click SHARE— To “Help a Friend” in Need!

“Anyone on a great quest is looking for clues that will help guide them.”

29 Dec

Sherlock Holmes became world famous for his uncanny ability to perceive clues. He saw what others couldn’t until he pointed them out. This remarkable gift of “seeing” most often revealed clues hidden in plain sight. You and I need the ability to detect the clues life sets before us. They’re actually easy to see, but, as you and I know, we often miss the obvious.

When you’re daydreaming, where does your mind wander? Do you have a recurring dream? I’ve asked these questions of countless people over the years and the most common response has been “I just don’t know.” They go blank. Just when they need direction, purpose, and perspective, they come up empty. Too many dream seekers never decide “What” they want to do in life. They’re bewildered by the multitude of choices that can cause them to lose hope in finding that “one thing” they were meant to do. When that happens they commit a colossal blunder. They settle for whatever comes along because it’s convenient. It’s the path of least resistance. Big Mistake!
Here are 5 Power of WHO Clues to look for:

  1. The Recurring Dream: If you haven’t heard It in awhile, let me remind you that “you have an assignment, a purpose, a dream all your own that you need to discover or rediscover.”  This dream is unique to you, & the fact that you still have this dream should speak loudly to you!
  2. Gifts & Talents:  What are you just naturally good at? You’ve always been good at it. It comes easy to you. It’s not uncommon for people to overlook their unique gifts & talents simply because they don’t see them as any big deal. But they are a Big Deal! Talk to your family/friends! They have a perspective of your gifts & talents that you just might be unable to see.
  3. Birds of a Feather:  You have friends & friends of friends who will help you simply because they feel you’re part of them, they are part of you, and you like each other—don’t take this for granted. They can & will help you if you’ll ask them! So ask!
  4. Rejection: Rejection is a severe teacher but can be even more instructive than favor because it forces you to come to grips with “who you really are” and “who you’re not.”  It lets you know “where you don’t belong” and “who you don’t belong with.”  The sooner you get this, the better off you’re going to be. Don’t worry-you’re not alone! You have family/friends out there who will help you.
  5. Do what you Love:  Doing what you “love” is one of the most essential components of finding your Dream. So start looking around the landscape of your life for people who love what you love. Talk to them. You’ll be surprised to discover that you already know someone right now who can open a door for you—someone who likes you enough to give you that reference, endorsement or testimonial you need to close the deal/get the dream!

Mike Singletary and The Power of WHO

10 Aug

I had the opportunity to hear Baylor University football great Mike Singletary give a motivational talk to the Baylor basketball team as the season was about to begin. Baylor’s outstanding basketball coach, Scott Drew, asked Mike, “When you first came to Baylor, you weren’t really expected to make the football team. So, when did you decide you wouldn’t just make the team, but you’d be a starter? Not just a starter but an all-conference linebacker? Not just all-conference, but someone who achieves all-American status? Not just all-American, but an NFL player? Not just an NFL player, but an all-pro eight times, going to the Pro Bowl ten times? And finally, not only that, but becoming a Hall of Fame linebacker recognized as one of the ‘top three’ players to ever play the game at your position? When did you decide all that?”

Mike responded, “Day one! When I got to campus the first day, I went immediately to the defensive coach and asked him if he would write down exactly what I needed to do to become the best defensive player who ever played at the university. The coach laughed and said, ‘That’s nice, Mike, but let’s not worry about that just now. How about just trying to make the team?’ I wouldn’t take that for an answer, so I said, ‘Coach, please, write down for me exactly what I have to do, and I’ll do it!’ The coach was stunned, and I’m not sure he knew exactly what to put on paper.” After thinking about it for a couple of days, the coach came back with a list.
It was broken into three parts:

  1. Robust Physical Goals. This would mean lots of training time in the weight room. (If completed, it would make Mike the strongest player on the team.)
  2. Nutrition. Eating the right foods in the proper amounts and not eating certain other foods.
  3. Study. Extra time spent in order to understand all facets of Baylor’s defensive schemes. (This would require Mike to spend hours and hours watching film on the teams he would face, dissecting their offensive strategies.) Mike then stopped and told Scott’s team: “Everybody wants things and has dreams, but that’s not enough if you want to be the best.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. All jobs have competency standards that require a fundamental knowledge, ability, or expertise in a specific subject or skill set.  Attaining these basic standards of competence requires a price to be paid. It takes study, practice, and a strong work ethic.
  2. Be Like Mike! Be willing to pay the price. This requires vision and a plan with specific goals written out. Once Mike saw the plan and the specific goals the coach wrote out for him, he knew it would be tough. There just weren’t enough hours for all this plus the study and social aspects of college life.  Something would have to give, and it couldn’t be his studies. The rest is sports history.
  3. Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.

Get Yourself a Library Card!

8 Jul

I Made A Huge Mistake earlier in my life by not reading more.

Whatever Your Age, I want to encourage you to read, read, and read as much as you can! I once heard Jim Rohn (one of the top motivational speakers in the country) say: everything you need for your better future and success has already been written. And guess what? It’s all available. All you have to do is go to the library.

But Would You Believe that only three percent of the people in America have a library card? Wow, they must be expensive!  No, they’re free.  And there’s probably a library in every neighborhood.”

I’m Now the Proud Owner of a Library Card. Do yourself an enormous favor. Join the ranks of the three percent today! It’s probably not a coincidence that three percent of the country possesses 97 percent of the wealth.  All the success books I’ve read agree with Jim–“There is no difference between someone who can’t read and one who chooses not to read. They both end up the same—ignorant.”

 5 Power of WHO Tips on Why You Should Read?

  1. Your Brain is a muscle. Giving it a daily reading workout –makes it sharper & you smarter! We all want to be smarter don’t we?
  2. Read me a story Dad! Yes, by all means-Do it! Reading out loud to your kids builds an emotional bond that will last a lifetime! Don’t miss this opportunity! It’s your time-just the two of you!
  3. Study after study show- The most well read of course are– the most successful!
  4. What’s crazy good about reading is that the books you will come to love to read will actually become your friends, counselors, mentors and advisors! We all need them!
  5. Finally, reading helps you learn how to “Connect”. You see, knowing interesting stories about; history, politics, sports, arts, animals, cars,  etc… will make you more interesting! People gravitate to those who are thought provoking, stimulating, creative and inspiring! So! Looking for a Job/Big Sale/Need a Date/A Richer Life? My Tip–Start Reading/Get a Library Card!

Want Success? “Mirror” the Best!

5 Jun

If you grew up without a guiding force/mentor, don’t be too concerned. It’s not a dream killer. There are plenty of people who had to overcome tremendous deficits and move past seemingly insurmountable obstacles to achieve greatness.

Ray Charles started out in life way behind the power curve.  He was born in the Deep South in 1930. He was black, blind, and an orphan. He was definitely not voted “most likely to succeed” in his high school annual or offered a scholarship to Harvard.  But he had an extraordinary musical gift and was determined to succeed.  His idol was Nat King Cole. Ray began to model himself after the great singer-musician while at the same time developing his own unique style that eventually catapulted him into incredible success that brought him fame and fortune. Ray Charles became an internationally recognized musical icon. But early on he allowed himself to mirror someone else’s success, and it served him well.

Power of WHO Tips

  • Mirroring is a very effective tool for aspiring dream seekers.  It’s basically imitating, copying, or mimicking someone who is already wildly successful at the same thing you aspire to.
  • You’ve actually been mirroring since you were a kid. You watched and copied your mom and dad, your big sister, brother, coach, teacher—how they walked, talked, acted, and played, as well as what they valued. As you grew older, your attention was drawn toward others you admired: actors, athletes, musicians, artists, entrepreneurs, etc. Here is one of life’s most powerful principles: We move in the direction of our focus.
  • Mirroring starts by hearing about or seeing someone who is already doing what you want to do. When that happens something inside you goes, “Wow, that’s it!” You start thinking to yourself, “I can do that. I’d be good at that. I bet I can do it even better if I practice!” When things like this begin to happen, you need to know you’re looking at a road map, a blueprint, a model of what could be.
  • The proof is in your pursuit.  It’s called passion.  The intensity and dedication of your pursuit are the level of your passion.  It takes study and practice to become skilled in the dream you’re pursuing. When you find that job you love and are willing to pay the price to become the absolute best at it, then your own unique style and genius will begin to take over and create a new story line that’s even better than the one you mirrored.
  • So, be clear about what you want, and mirror the best!

“Wanting it too badly”…is Never a Good Strategy!

31 May

 
We’ve all been there at one time or another, whether it’s wanting to make the team, get that part in the play, having a romantic relationship, or landing the Dream Job. If you show you want something too much, your odds of getting it go down significantly. Dogs, dates, and prospective bosses all can sense this overanxious desire.  If you want something or someone too much, you can end up sabotaging yourself. It could be the nervous look, the bouncing leg, or the overly aggressive approach. Regardless of what gives you away, it becomes obvious to everyone around you that you’re too emotionally invested. Wanting something too much changes your natural personality and ends up making you look weak.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. Don’t introduce yourself/Be introduced! Remember:  whether it’s a date, a job interview or making a big sales pitch- having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When your “Who” says you’re great, you are!
  2. Work hard now/so you’ll be your Best! Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.
  3. Always be authentic. Anything less—you lose! When we suppress our originality, uniqueness, and authenticity, we lose touch with our source of energy and natural creativity. Do yourself an enormous favor. Don’t try to be somebody you “ain’t.” Celebrate your uniqueness. It’s what sets you apart and makes you who you really are.
  4. Stop wanting/Start giving!  When you make the extra effort to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that is never wasted. There’s a law that governs this principle of encouraging and giving. It’s called the “law of reciprocity.” Simply put, this law states that when you do something good for another person, it actually creates a desire in them to reciprocate. They want to do good back to you. When you do something extra for people, they never seem to forget it and will always try to find a way to balance the equation.
  5. Doing what “You Love” makes you Look better!  Don’t do “Dog Years.” In other words, don’t live one year while aging seven. Whatever you choose to do in life is going to require your time, energy, and commitment. Doing what you don’t love ages you a lot more quickly. The principle is simple: Whatever you do has a transforming effect on you. Living the life you love has the almost magical quality of keeping you young, vibrant, and healthy.

Want to be Successful in Life? You’ll Need a Best Friend!

20 May

” Some people enter our lives and leave almost instantly. Others stay and forge such an impression on our heart and soul that we are forever changed.” 

A poignant scene in the popular TV series Boston Legal succinctly captures the essence of true friendship. Denny Crane, played by William Shatner, is feeling a little insecure and doubting his friend’s loyalty. Alan Shore, played by James Spader, says to his friend:

“People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or, at most, a third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around the office so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they barely met. And everybody just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell someone you love someone today, it isn’t much heard. I love you, Denny. You’re my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend. I’m not going to kiss you, however!”  

These two guys are real friends, and they both know it!  Women are pretty good at “declaring” friendships but us men…ouch. After the age of 35, statistics say we stop adding new friends and somehow we’ve let our treasured ones…slip away!  BIG MISTAKE!

Power of Who Tips

  • In Life, you get 12 friends. 3 close and 1 best.  Take a minute & write down who’s in your 12?  Who’s your #1- Best Friend?  Trust Me-It Matters!
  • Today, friendships are as vital to our dreams/goals as food and water are to our bodies. The reason so many people are confused about this is simply because they’ve never declared it.  If you want a Best Friend, at some point you need to let them know you’re in and vice versa.
  • Your best friend is the 1 whose heart is knit to yours. You both have a sense that you’re from the same tribe.  They simply love you for no good reason.  They’re always on your side.  The communication level here is deep. You’re actually with someone who gets what you’re all about, who just digs the way you’re wired together. 

It’s very real but hard to explain, but when BEST FRIENDS are together it’s Magic!  Life’s on “enhance mode.”  And as a result, the opportunity for success in business, relationships and life with this person around you, encouraging you, empowering you– well, It’s significantly higher.  So: Remember, Reach out, and Re-Connect today!  It might seem wierd & uncomfortable, but go ahead and Declare and Activate your friendships!  It’s that Important! Want to learn more? Check out the 12 Guidelines of True Friendship. You Got WHO!