Archive | May, 2010

“Wanting it too badly”…is Never a Good Strategy!

31 May

We’ve all been there at one time or another, whether it’s wanting to make the team, get that part in the play, having a romantic relationship, or landing the Dream Job. If you show you want something too much, your odds of getting it go down significantly. Dogs, dates, and prospective bosses all can sense this overanxious desire.  If you want something or someone too much, you can end up sabotaging yourself. It could be the nervous look, the bouncing leg, or the overly aggressive approach. Regardless of what gives you away, it becomes obvious to everyone around you that you’re too emotionally invested. Wanting something too much changes your natural personality and ends up making you look weak.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. Don’t introduce yourself/Be introduced! Remember:  whether it’s a date, a job interview or making a big sales pitch- having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When your “Who” says you’re great, you are!
  2. Work hard now/so you’ll be your Best! Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.
  3. Always be authentic. Anything less—you lose! When we suppress our originality, uniqueness, and authenticity, we lose touch with our source of energy and natural creativity. Do yourself an enormous favor. Don’t try to be somebody you “ain’t.” Celebrate your uniqueness. It’s what sets you apart and makes you who you really are.
  4. Stop wanting/Start giving!  When you make the extra effort to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that is never wasted. There’s a law that governs this principle of encouraging and giving. It’s called the “law of reciprocity.” Simply put, this law states that when you do something good for another person, it actually creates a desire in them to reciprocate. They want to do good back to you. When you do something extra for people, they never seem to forget it and will always try to find a way to balance the equation.
  5. Doing what “You Love” makes you Look better!  Don’t do “Dog Years.” In other words, don’t live one year while aging seven. Whatever you choose to do in life is going to require your time, energy, and commitment. Doing what you don’t love ages you a lot more quickly. The principle is simple: Whatever you do has a transforming effect on you. Living the life you love has the almost magical quality of keeping you young, vibrant, and healthy.

What’s your dream? Not your dad’s, not your mom’s, not anybody else’s but your own?

28 May

“I Believe in Destiny, and When Destiny Calls You Must Obey.”

What’s your dream? Not your dad’s, not your mom’s, not anybody else’s but your own? What’s that “one thing” where your unique talent, gifting, and competency are maximized and showcased? One of the big lies many of us tell ourselves is that our current position in life disqualifies us from achieving our dreams and goals.

When he was a very young man, Winston Churchill had a dream that one day England would come into extreme danger and he would be called upon to save the day. From time to time he would tell some of his friends about the dream but was often told that his dream was childish, something akin to a superhero comic book. The future prime minister would reply, “I believe in destiny, and when destiny calls you must obey.”

I would add that Mr. Churchill’s destiny was speaking to him in his recurring dream, helping to guide him and prepare him for what was to come. It wasn’t until the final season of his life that the dream became a reality. When Hitler’s Nazi Germany attacked England, Churchill did, indeed, save the day.

7 Power of Who Tips

  1. Most successful people will tell you they always thought they would be successful. They will tell you they heard the voice of their destiny calling to them, and they answered.
  2. Do you have a recurring dream? Because this dream or vision will provide you with valuable clues about the direction you should be heading.
  3. What preoccupies your thoughts during your waking hours? In other words, what’s holding your attention? What keeps resonating with you? That’s a clue!
  4. Your dream is the fire that energizes you toward your destiny. Don’t allow dream stealers to extinguish it. And, by the way, don’t allow your own negative thinking to do it either.
  5. What you’re good at and what you enjoy are major clues to connecting with your destiny. Don’t minimize their importance.
  6. Have you overlooked your unique gifts and talents simply because others don’t see them as any big deal? You need to stop and talk to your “Who!” Your “true friends”-12-3-1 have a perspective of your gifts and talents that you’re unable to see.
  7. You and I need the ability to detect the clues life sets before us. They’re actually easy to see, but, as you and I know, we often miss the obvious.

Want to learn more? Check out my new book The Power of WHO. Join me on Twitter. Friend me on Facebook. Join me on LinkedIn.

Are You Simply Doing What You’ve been Programmed to Do? But You Know it’s Not “Who” You Really Are…

26 May

Each of us has an assignment, a purpose, a dream all our own that we need to discover or rediscover. Maybe you’ve wanted to open a restaurant, become a fashion model, get your real estate license, or go back to law school. It’s always been there and keeps resurfacing. Your dream is unique to you, and the fact that you still have this dream should speak loudly to you. That’s your first clue. But in order to see the next step, you’re going to have to disconnect from some of the old patterns of your lifestyle.

Neo is the main character in the movie, The Matrix. He’s connected to the “grid,” unaware that he’s going through life asleep. After being awakened and disconnected from the “grid” through a bizarre set of circumstances, he’s faced with a whole new reality that he didn’t even know existed before. This new reality leads him into his destiny. The story of The Matrix is, in many ways, an allegory of the world we live in today. The really scary thought is that you’re connected to the “grid,” performing a function that doesn’t utilize your gifts and talents. You’re simply doing what you’ve been programmed to do. But you know it’s not who you really are. Like Neo, you have to bust out. Instinctively, you know the pathway to your destiny, your purpose, lies beyond your ability to see from where you are right now. It’s going to take considerable faith and courage to disconnect from the “grid” and follow your recurring dream.

Power of WHO Tips

  • A key reason people don’t succeed in realizing their hidden dreams, goals, ambitions, and purpose is because they don’t take time for reflection.  Busyness can masquerade as effectiveness.
  • As you begin to think about pursuing your dreams and goals, you’re going to need to give yourself a “time-out.”  Soul searching is a solitary exercise.  If you don’t take this seriously you will, more than likely, settle for just another counterfeit.
  • I’ve discovered that individuals who are willing to make even a few slight course corrections were able to alter the entire trajectory of their lives.  At first a lot of these people thought they needed an extreme makeover, but the good news is that just a small change in strategy makes all the difference.
  • You’ve probably had the experience of checking your pockets, looking around because you sense you’ve forgotten something.  But you just can’t think of what it could be.  Perhaps it’s a distant dream that’s still alive, so the sensation keeps popping up, but it’s been so long since you’ve consciously thought about it that you no longer connect the sensation to the dream.
  • Is it possible that you once dreamed of living a different life from the one you’re living now but just can’t remember—something for which you’re uniquely and wonderfully “wired”?  As an executive recruiter who has talked with literally thousands of job seekers over the years, I can tell you there are many, many individuals who are Seeking Something Else but Missing Something More.

Have You Noticed That Successful Dreamers Think Differently! Learn Their Secret!

23 May

What Others see as an impassable mountain, dreamers see as merely a big rock in the way.  It’s simply something that must be dealt with. Yes, it may take some time and effort, but dreamers consider this just part of the process of getting where they need to go.

How do you view the mountains/obstacles in your life? Your answer to this simple question is crucial!

Lets look at Five Power of Who Tips

  1. Obstacles should be viewed as springboards to bigger and better opportunities.
  2. Your friends and mentors can help launch you over some of those barriers by providing powerful leverage that you don’t have on your own.
  3. That’s where the “The Power of WHO Strategy” works so beautifully. It tells you that the odds are that someone you know right now knows another person who can provide a better and more creative solution to your situation, a way to circumvent your obstacle.
  4. There’s no embarrassment in asking for help. In fact, it’s just plain smart.
  5. Remember, one slight change in strategy could mean huge success, whereas no change or standing still will not accomplish anything.

Want to be Successful in Life? You’ll Need a Best Friend!

20 May

” Some people enter our lives and leave almost instantly. Others stay and forge such an impression on our heart and soul that we are forever changed.” 

A poignant scene in the popular TV series Boston Legal succinctly captures the essence of true friendship. Denny Crane, played by William Shatner, is feeling a little insecure and doubting his friend’s loyalty. Alan Shore, played by James Spader, says to his friend:

“People walk around today calling everyone their best friend. The term doesn’t have any real meaning anymore. Mere acquaintances are lavished with hugs and kisses upon a second or, at most, a third meeting. Birthday cards get passed around the office so everybody can scribble a snippet of sentimentality for a colleague they barely met. And everybody just loves everyone. As a result, when you tell someone you love someone today, it isn’t much heard. I love you, Denny. You’re my best friend. I can’t imagine going through life without you as my best friend. I’m not going to kiss you, however!”  

These two guys are real friends, and they both know it!  Women are pretty good at “declaring” friendships but us men…ouch. After the age of 35, statistics say we stop adding new friends and somehow we’ve let our treasured ones…slip away!  BIG MISTAKE!

Power of Who Tips

  • In Life, you get 12 friends. 3 close and 1 best.  Take a minute & write down who’s in your 12?  Who’s your #1- Best Friend?  Trust Me-It Matters!
  • Today, friendships are as vital to our dreams/goals as food and water are to our bodies. The reason so many people are confused about this is simply because they’ve never declared it.  If you want a Best Friend, at some point you need to let them know you’re in and vice versa.
  • Your best friend is the 1 whose heart is knit to yours. You both have a sense that you’re from the same tribe.  They simply love you for no good reason.  They’re always on your side.  The communication level here is deep. You’re actually with someone who gets what you’re all about, who just digs the way you’re wired together. 

It’s very real but hard to explain, but when BEST FRIENDS are together it’s Magic!  Life’s on “enhance mode.”  And as a result, the opportunity for success in business, relationships and life with this person around you, encouraging you, empowering you– well, It’s significantly higher.  So: Remember, Reach out, and Re-Connect today!  It might seem wierd & uncomfortable, but go ahead and Declare and Activate your friendships!  It’s that Important! Want to learn more? Check out the 12 Guidelines of True Friendship. You Got WHO!

Try Smiling Today! It Will Distinguish You from Most Everybody Else!

17 May

Smile a Little Smile for Me

A smile is the lighting system of the face, the cooling system of the head and the heating system of the heart.” — Author Unknown

The choice to smile is really a breakthrough technique, because it automatically distinguishes you from most everybody else. I can tell you firsthand that many people lose job opportunities simply because they didn’t bring a smile to the interview. Clients have often told me afterward they had an “uneasy feeling” about the candidate because the person looked unhappy or too serious. The candidate missed a golden opportunity simply by not smiling (being too uptight).

Power of WHO Tips:  Just smiling can actually change the atmosphere of an entire room. When you bring to the table a positive attitude accompanied by a smile, you take on a personal glow that causes good things to happen.

  • Everything looks brighter.
  • Your presentation looks more impressive.
  • You look better in what you’re wearing.
  • Your interaction is enhanced.
  • You signal to everyone that you’re confident even in the midst of difficult circumstances.

A genuine smile from a pleasant heart causes those around you to feel at ease. When people feel welcomed and valued by you, they relax and begin to give you the treasure of their trust. So, smile! Trust me; I do this for a living.

Are You Frustrated on Your Dream/Goals? The Discovery!

15 May

The Discovery!

Something profound was going on beneath the surface, something that I would later come to understand as a dynamic principle at work. I began to notice it operating in the lives of people with whom I would interact. But it took me a while to connect the dots on exactly what it was. I soon discovered that this principle has always been there but because of its subtle nature tends to remain hidden. It’s like gravity and wind—you can’t actually see them, but their effect is obvious. This powerful principle has been utilized by successful dream seekers throughout time. It’s not complicated; it’s really very simple. Here it is:

                                             You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!

Before you balk at the simplicity of that statement, let it sink in a bit. I’m telling you it’s true. I’ve seen it work over and over again. Let me say it again. You already know everyone you need to know. Please go back and read it once more, and this time read it aloud. You might say to yourself, “Okay, fine. Got it, next.” Or you might completely dismiss it as not important and totally miss out on how this principle can work for you.

Power of WHO Tips

  • Don’t make the mistake of thinking you don’t already know enough people who can help you on your quest. It’s really not the best use of your time and energy to start sending e-mails out to people you don’t know or having lunches with strangers.
  • If you really want to pursue a worthy goal or make a significant change in your life, you don’t go external in your approach, you go internal.
  • Here’s what most people do: they start looking outside their “Who” network thinking their success will be found “out there” somewhere. It’s a false notion to think that your success will come from a bunch of people you don’t know.
  • Don’t expect strangers or even acquaintances to care about you or your goals unless they perceive a desired benefit for themselves.
  • So cultivate your “field of dreams” with your “Who” friends. Want to learn more? Check out The Power of WHO!