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Five Tips to Help You Help Your Friends Who are Out of Work!

1 Jun

As CEO of Eastman & Beaudine, one of the major executive search firms in the country, I get calls every day from people who share their hurt after losing their job. Some tell me they didn’t even like their job, in fact, they felt they were tolerated and not celebrated in it. But… the thought that they were now
being outplaced, downsized, pink slipped, asked to take early retirement or even worse being fired caught them so off guard that they felt like they were hit by a brick. For many,  it’s so disruptive and demoralizing that it becomes…too much to handle.

Today, there are still close to 14 million people out of a job–People all around you. Their world has been turned upside down. Who are these people? Do we care? Of course we do! They’re our friends, our family, neighbors, our sons and daughters coming home from the military as well as members at our local church.  This problem hasn’t gone away and yet the newspapers don’t seem to talk about it much anymore,  even though it impacts every family and community? How can that be?

So what exactly do You say to people when you hear they lost their job? What advice do you give a close, dear friend? Do you act as if it didn’t happen, thinking they would tell you if they really wanted to? Do you wait for them to reach out? Well, that might be ok if you’re just an acquaintance, but it’s not ok for friends… is it?!

What are they feeling? I can tell you from experience, they’re embarrassed & panicked. They’re thinking “What am I going to do now?” “Will I be able to find another job?” “What are people going to think about me?” These fear questions can paralyze people. They seem to lead them to the same emotional place: isolation and fear. When people feel threatened it becomes very difficult to tell ourselves the truth. A fog rolls in and takes residence in our minds and all of a
sudden–we’re not able to think clearly. So who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Friends or strangers? Unfortunately people aren’t turning to family & friends and they are the Key! It’s these loved ones that can step in and call a halt to fearful thinking and can intercept us on our dark path—they can remind us that we’re not alone, we’re not isolated and that we have a future and a hope!

So How Can You Help Your Friends? Here are FIVE tips to SHARE!

  1. Reach Out! Not by text or email-Call them or stop by their house. Tell them you heard of their situation, you’re sorry this has occurred but go ahead and shock them by saying: “Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!” Why? Because they now get to pick a job they truly Love, with people they Love, in a place they Love, where their family Loves it and where they can do it for all the right reasons.  Best of all-You want to help! Set up a coffee/lunch to strategize next steps!
  2. In the meantime, tell them You want them to read a Special book that will encourage and help them called The Power of WHO! My hope is that you’ll Give them the Book! It’s a great declaration of friendship! I am always touched when someone sends or gives me a book. They won’t forget it! Sign it to them in the front of the book. Say something like this: “Friends are treasures! Thanks for your friendship & love all these years!! When I read this book, I thought about us! I’m All-In!”
  3. Teach & Review the 100/40 strategy that I outline in the book when you meet with them for lunch! Remind them: “You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!” In fact, explain the amazing truth that “They already know someone right now who knows another person who will introduce them to the person they need to meet.” Tell them the Good News: No more colds calls, No more mass emails, No “networking groups” you have to go to where you’re forced to sit in pairs with people you have no connection with and talk about issues and problems in each other’s lives- Going to these is one notch above a sharp stick in the eye! It’s just about friends helping friends!
  4. When You make the “Extra Effort” to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that’s never wasted. And what your Friend desperately needs more than anything right now is encouragement from their trusted friend-YOU. They need you to put a firm hand on their shoulder to help stabilize them. They need you to remind them that they are a treasure chest of gifts and talents and that there are still greater things ahead for them! This is where family/friends can really make a difference in boosting morale! Your love helps them believe again!
  5. Finally- be a “Moment Maker!” Most people can recall that “One Special Person” who took timeout to help them and it turned their life around for the better. When someone you admire and respect believes in you, it changes everything. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Help a Friend today! Reach out! Creating these extraordinary moments doesn’t cost you a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

Click SHARE— To “Help a Friend” in Need!


No Friends Allowed? Big Mistake!

20 Oct

Front page news tells us that– 15 million people are still out of a job! UGH! Seems even college kids can’t get a job after graduation? I heard the number is close to 70 percent ?? I thought getting a job after college was an inalienable right! Add to that–69 % of the country that have a job feel that– “A bad day at the beach is better than a good day at work.”  What’s going on? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you. It comes down to two Big Mistakes. The first involves a teaching today many have bought into about friends/business and the second is a ridiculously flawed strategy called “Networking!”  Let’s look closer.

1.      Friends/Business

  • Have you noticed that over the years there’s now a prevailing philosophy that   friends/business are taboo? Did you know that some portions of the country actually believe that asking for help from friends is rude? So let me get this correct? We’re supposed to work with people we don’t know and don’t trust? On big issues in life we’re supposed to seek out help from strangers? Ridiculous! Add now all these Ponzi schemes/Madoff shenanigans-Can it be we have stooped so low that we now have to ‘disclose friendship as evil’ instead of ‘declaring it as great’? The concept of “No friends allowed” in business today is proving to be a Big Mistake!
  • It’s a false notion to think that yours or my success will come from a bunch of people we don’t know. Don’t expect strangers or even acquaintances to care about you or your goals unless they perceive a desired benefit for themselves. On the other hand, life gets really exciting when it begins to dawn on you that you have some “friends” willing to help. Most people rarely think of their friends as conduits to achieving their dreams/goals. But friends come pre-wired with a strong desire to help you. What if they also actually had the power to cause something big to happen for you? Now wouldn’t that rock your world!


2. “Networking”

  • Take everything you have ever heard or learned about networking and just throw it out. I can make such a radical statement because, based on my thirty-plus years in the executive recruiting business, I can tell you unequivocally: “Networking” as we know it is crap. It doesn’t work!
  • What does “Networking” mean today? Faceless websites, handing out business cards at conferences to strangers like they’re mints, sending résumés to recruiters: Dear Sir, To Whom It May Concern, or Dear Recruiter. Dear Recruiter-Isn’t that an oxymoron? Does any of this work? NO! You might as well buy a lottery ticket. E-mail résumés sent in a non-relational way is junk mail-Its spam and you just got deleted. Why? Who has time to read it? Nobody! If you didn’t even take the time to come up with an actual person’s name, it’s not much better than grabbing a name randomly out of a company directory or phone book. Big Mistake!

Learn a better way! Check out The Power of WHO today, a STEP by STEP plan to help you win at business and life through the Power of Relationships.

Mike Singletary and The Power of WHO

10 Aug

I had the opportunity to hear Baylor University football great Mike Singletary give a motivational talk to the Baylor basketball team as the season was about to begin. Baylor’s outstanding basketball coach, Scott Drew, asked Mike, “When you first came to Baylor, you weren’t really expected to make the football team. So, when did you decide you wouldn’t just make the team, but you’d be a starter? Not just a starter but an all-conference linebacker? Not just all-conference, but someone who achieves all-American status? Not just all-American, but an NFL player? Not just an NFL player, but an all-pro eight times, going to the Pro Bowl ten times? And finally, not only that, but becoming a Hall of Fame linebacker recognized as one of the ‘top three’ players to ever play the game at your position? When did you decide all that?”

Mike responded, “Day one! When I got to campus the first day, I went immediately to the defensive coach and asked him if he would write down exactly what I needed to do to become the best defensive player who ever played at the university. The coach laughed and said, ‘That’s nice, Mike, but let’s not worry about that just now. How about just trying to make the team?’ I wouldn’t take that for an answer, so I said, ‘Coach, please, write down for me exactly what I have to do, and I’ll do it!’ The coach was stunned, and I’m not sure he knew exactly what to put on paper.” After thinking about it for a couple of days, the coach came back with a list.
It was broken into three parts:

  1. Robust Physical Goals. This would mean lots of training time in the weight room. (If completed, it would make Mike the strongest player on the team.)
  2. Nutrition. Eating the right foods in the proper amounts and not eating certain other foods.
  3. Study. Extra time spent in order to understand all facets of Baylor’s defensive schemes. (This would require Mike to spend hours and hours watching film on the teams he would face, dissecting their offensive strategies.) Mike then stopped and told Scott’s team: “Everybody wants things and has dreams, but that’s not enough if you want to be the best.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. All jobs have competency standards that require a fundamental knowledge, ability, or expertise in a specific subject or skill set.  Attaining these basic standards of competence requires a price to be paid. It takes study, practice, and a strong work ethic.
  2. Be Like Mike! Be willing to pay the price. This requires vision and a plan with specific goals written out. Once Mike saw the plan and the specific goals the coach wrote out for him, he knew it would be tough. There just weren’t enough hours for all this plus the study and social aspects of college life.  Something would have to give, and it couldn’t be his studies. The rest is sports history.
  3. Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.

“Wanting it too badly”…is Never a Good Strategy!

31 May

We’ve all been there at one time or another, whether it’s wanting to make the team, get that part in the play, having a romantic relationship, or landing the Dream Job. If you show you want something too much, your odds of getting it go down significantly. Dogs, dates, and prospective bosses all can sense this overanxious desire.  If you want something or someone too much, you can end up sabotaging yourself. It could be the nervous look, the bouncing leg, or the overly aggressive approach. Regardless of what gives you away, it becomes obvious to everyone around you that you’re too emotionally invested. Wanting something too much changes your natural personality and ends up making you look weak.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. Don’t introduce yourself/Be introduced! Remember:  whether it’s a date, a job interview or making a big sales pitch- having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When your “Who” says you’re great, you are!
  2. Work hard now/so you’ll be your Best! Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.
  3. Always be authentic. Anything less—you lose! When we suppress our originality, uniqueness, and authenticity, we lose touch with our source of energy and natural creativity. Do yourself an enormous favor. Don’t try to be somebody you “ain’t.” Celebrate your uniqueness. It’s what sets you apart and makes you who you really are.
  4. Stop wanting/Start giving!  When you make the extra effort to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that is never wasted. There’s a law that governs this principle of encouraging and giving. It’s called the “law of reciprocity.” Simply put, this law states that when you do something good for another person, it actually creates a desire in them to reciprocate. They want to do good back to you. When you do something extra for people, they never seem to forget it and will always try to find a way to balance the equation.
  5. Doing what “You Love” makes you Look better!  Don’t do “Dog Years.” In other words, don’t live one year while aging seven. Whatever you choose to do in life is going to require your time, energy, and commitment. Doing what you don’t love ages you a lot more quickly. The principle is simple: Whatever you do has a transforming effect on you. Living the life you love has the almost magical quality of keeping you young, vibrant, and healthy.

Frank Sinatra/The Power of WHO– “My Way” not an Effective Strategy for Dreamers & Job Seekers!

6 Apr

The Song “My Way,” made popular by Frank Sinatra, glorifies the philosophy of going it alone.  But it’s just a song. It’s not real. Actually, Mr. Sinatra didn’t do it his way. Paul Anka wrote the song!  There was also an arranger, an orchestra and conductor, a recording studio, a sound engineer, and a record company.  It was a collaborative effort. In other words, there were lots of other people involved in helping Ol’ Blue Eyes do it “his way.”  Sinatra was a great singer and gifted performer but without the help of others we may never have heard his voice.

Power of WHO Tips

  • The wise person understands that trying to go it alone is a sure way to run into insurmountable obstacles and costly mistakes!
  • You might be a genius in some area of your life, but you’re going to need others to assist you where you’re not strong.
  • Remember, whatever it is you want to accomplish you’re going to need your “Who.”  Going it alone is like trying to speed walk on the moon.  It’s hard to get traction.  Conversely, tapping into your “Who” network is like walking on one of those people movers at the airport.  You just step on and all of a sudden there’s a power underneath transporting you to your destination faster than you could get there by yourself.
  • Your “Who” friends undergird you with a power you don’t have on your own.  They’ll ask their “Who” to help you get you where you want to go.  They’ll open doors for you that you couldn’t open alone and get you connected.
  • Wouldn’t it be tremendous to find out that the one person you need to know to accomplish a goal or fulfill your dream turns out to be a close, personal friend?

John Wayne/The Power of WHO-How to Not only Survive but Thrive in this Economy!

5 Apr

 You’re probably familiar with some of the “tongue-in-cheek” exaggerations of my dad’s generation. The World War II guys would say things like “Why, when I was your age I walked three miles in the snow to school every day, and it was uphill both ways!”

It was the John Wayne philosophy that said, “To truly make it in life, son, you have to go it alone.” Fortunately, my dad never taught me those concepts. Yes, he did teach me the value of hard work.  But he also taught me the tremendous value of teamwork, coming alongside others to accomplish a common goal. You and I need the special relationships we’ve been given not only to survive but thrive in this impossible world.

The Bible refers to King Solomon as “the wisest man who ever lived.” He said: two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.

 Power of WHO Tips

  • The point is clear-we’re not designed to go it alone!  You need your “Who.”
  • Don’t attempt to do life on your own. Get off the “lone ranger” treadmill. That thing will wear you out and put you in an early grave. Running faster and harder all alone is clearly not a good strategy.
  • The science people who study this stuff tell us that we only use a small percentage of our brainpower.  The same is true when it comes to our “Who.”  Most of us haven’t been taking advantage of all that’s available.  We’re going through life with the misconception that our dreams and goals can be accomplished without any help from others.
  • Pity the people who think they don’t need coaches, teachers, mentors, parents, or friends to help and advise them. If you’re among that misguided group, I’ve got a news flash for you: We’re all “A Cup Short!” 
  • One of the greatest mistakes in business today is that most people never reach out for help, never lean on their “Who” in times of need. If you want to thrive, not just survive—you have to “Remember, Reach Out and Re-Connect” with your “Who” Network! Start today!

How do I stay out of dead-end job’s/relationships? Check-out 6 Power of WHO Tips!

30 Mar

“Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. . . He who looks outside, dreams.  He who looks inside, awakens.” ~Carl Jung

Everybody wants things and has dreams, but that’s not enough if you want to be the best. You have to be willing to pay the price, and to pay such a price, you have to “See It” first and then be accountable to it.  Unfortunately…much of life is camouflaged.  If your life or career becomes monotonous your head starts to tilt downward. It’s unconscious. You don’t even know you’re doing it–but keeping your head down prevents you from looking up.  Yogi Berra was right when he said, “You can see a lot just by lookin’!”

Discernment is the ability to see things deeply—beyond the obvious and below the surface.  A hawk soars along hunting for prey hiding in the brush.  Because of its extraordinary eyesight the hawk sees what’s hidden just under the ground clutter and so gets its reward.  Discernment is like having the eyes of a hawk.  It enables you to see below the surface of things.  If you’re going to successfully traverse the unpredictable, often rough and treacherous waters of life you’ll need the ability to read the currents below. 

Power of WHO Tips

  1. As you begin to think about pursuing dreams and goals, you’re going to need to give yourself a “time-out.”   A time to disengage.  You have to regularly clear your thoughts.  This is best accomplished in a calm, quiet, soothing environment that inspires—a place where the constant noise of the regular world is not heard.
  2. A “time-out” could keep you from getting stuck for several more years in a job/relationship that leads to another dead end. 
  3. Read, walk, pray, meditate, watch a good sunset—whatever stills the pond—whatever gets you off the treadmill.  If you don’t take this seriously you will, more than likely, settle for just another counterfeit.
  4. There are millions of people who never do this, so they remain stuck where they are.  They’re not willing to take the risk of being alone with just their thoughts, or they don’t really believe they’ll discover anything new.  Don’t be part of that crowd.  It’s a dead end.
  5. Keep looking up with an expectant, hope-filled heart and you will encounter some things that will have a deep, restorative effect.  Life will surprise you sometimes with something so wonderful you can’t believe it.
  6. When you rediscover what makes you feel fulfilled, satisfied, and content, you will have accomplished something very significant.