Archive | September, 2009

You’ll Change Inside, When You Realize-You Got WHO!

29 Sep

I Love this simple & powerful message from Demi Lovato’s amazing song- The Gift of a Friend!

“You’ll Change Inside, When You Realize
The World comes to Life, and Everythings Bright,
From beginning to end, when you have a Friend by your side
That helps you to find, The beauty You Are
When you open your heart and believe in… The Gift of a Friend.”

Having a true friend (a Who Friend) in our life is a GameChanger. A friend not only makes life more fun but can make even the most mind-numbing and boring of events enjoyable. Do you have that in your life? Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “The only way to have a friend is to be one!”

I wrote 12 guidleines for True Friendship– See How you rate yourself as a friend as well as those you you associate with today. (Check it out-they’re free)

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!


This Event was One of those “Life-Changing Moments”

29 Sep

By zoe.tennesen
Published on September 03, 2009

At the risk of sounding melodramatic, this event was one of those life-changing moment kinds of things. Their office was abuzz with excitement and spilling over with people, mostly in suits, laughing and enjoying wine and hors d’oeuvres delivered by waiters strolling by in penguin suits. It was a much-anticipated shindig that Elizabeth, Emily, KyLea and I were excited about attending, to be sure. The host, Viverae, a corporate wellness programs provider, spared no expense, and the scene was set for a magnificent night.

We mingled ‘til we tingled. Just when I thought the night couldn’t get any better (I’m a sucker for pot stickers and chardonnay), they introduced their guest speaker. It was Bob Beaudine, nationally acclaimed motivational keynote, top executive sports recruiter, and author of “The Power of Who”. Through a series of entertaining stories and morsels of real-life truths, he gave us a taste of the book – and I couldn’t wait to get home with my autographed copy and chew on the meat.

I had to chew slowly. It’s not like Twilight, where you can burn through three chapters during a commercial break. It’s one of those things you have to take in slowly to experience its full power, like a burning red sunset on a secluded beach. But if you do that, the payoff is big.

I’ve gotten so much mileage out of this book that it’s literally transformed my thinking and approach to nearly every relationship in my life. We’re talking paradigm-shifting and all kinds of woah moments. If you don’t believe me, just look at my book – it’s full of ketchup stains from reading it at lunch, water stains from reading in the pool, half a highlighter’s ink worth of goodness called out, and about twenty dog-eared pages. (Bob – can I have a fresh copy?)

Here are just a few of the golden nuggets I culled from his pages (mostly paraphrased, so don’t be underwhelmed. It’s really much, much better):

• Each of us has an assignment, a purpose, and a dream all our own that we need to discover or rediscover. Pursue this dream fearlessly. Go back to childhood or pay attention to where your mind leads you during the day. What are you passionate about that you forgot along the way while trying to survive?

• How do you accomplish this dream? Forget networking – you already know everyone you need to know. Who are these people? They are your friends, and just as you would do anything for them (I literally scaled a wall once to help my friend get some moving boxes from a dumpster!), they will bend over backwards for you.

• When searching for something, your friends are much more likely than strangers to help you out… but you have to ask! Share your vision with your friends. You’ll be amazed at what pops up and who they know. One phone call to a friend, and you’re on your way!

• Expect opposition. Beaudine states, “There are many more paths that lead to failure than there are that lead to success.” It’s a lot easier to go the way most traveled, but not always the best way for you. If inventing the light bulb were an easy task, it would have been done on the ark. But it took persistence by someone with a vision and a dream to make it happen. Sure, Edison encountered opposition from people who told him it couldn’t be done. That’s what makes his invention so much more appreciable.

• Don’t be scared of the unknown. It’s a beautiful open field full of buried gold. Dance around in it in until you find it.

So what’s my dream? It’s still in the making, and I say that because I consider myself one of the fortunate few who is already living it, for the most part. I get to create stuff and dream up ideas and ads and taglines, and as long as I get to be creative I’m happy. But it’s definitely given me a clarity of vision about my goals for the future, and has imparted in me an urgent desire to foster friendships that I candidly have not taken care with. People are the most important and valuable assets any of us have – whether on a personal level or professional. So cultivating these relationships is not something we can afford to push aside.

I think this book will do amazing things for anyone who reads it – especially if you’re willing to do the hard soul-searching stuff. It pays off tremendously.

And next time you’re stuck at a dead end – whether laid off of your job, struggling with physical challenges, or searching to find your purpose on earth – just remember, you’re not alone. You Got Who!

Doing It Your Way–BIG MISTAKE!

29 Sep

We’re going through life with the misconception that our dreams and goals can be accomplished without any help from others. Pity the people who think they don’t need coaches, teachers, mentors, parents, or friends to help and advise them. If you’re among that misguided group, I’ve got a news flash for you: We’re all “A Cup Short!”

The song “My Way,” made popular by Frank Sinatra, glorifies the philosophy of going it alone. But it’s just a song. It’s not real. Actually, Mr. Sinatra didn’t do it his way. Paul Anka wrote the song! There was also an arranger, an orchestra and conductor, a recording studio, a sound engineer, and a record company. It was a collaborative effort. In other words, there were lots of other people involved in helping Ol’ Blue Eyes do it “his way.” Sinatra was a great singer and gifted performer but without the help of others we may never have heard his voice.

The wise person understands that trying to go it alone is a sure way to run into insurmountable obstacles and costly mistakes! You and I need the special relationships we’ve been given not only to survive but thrive in this impossible world! Remember…You Got WHO! Don’t go it alone–Reach Out and Re-Connect today!

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!

The Secret of Life? One Thing!

29 Sep

When you’re daydreaming, where does your mind wander? Do you have a recurring dream? I‘ve asked these questions of countless executives over the years and the most common response has been, “I just don’t know.” They go blank. Just when they need direction, purpose and perspective, they come up empty.

Most Dream Job seekers never decide what they want to do in life. They’re bewildered by the multitude of choices which can cause them to lose hope in finding that “One Thing” they were meant to do. When that happens they commit a colossal blunder. They take just any job, with just any “Who.” Big Mistake!

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!

You & I Need Our Friends! Lean on Me!

29 Sep

One of the BIG MISTAKES in life today is that most people never reach out for help, never lean on their “Who” in times of need. Not sure if you saw this YouTube w/ Bill Withers & USC Trojan Football Team last week. Love Bill’s advice to the team:

“Don’t lose sight of the comraderie that you have Now. The later you go in life–the less access you will have to ‘this kind’ of friendship.”

“Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain; we all have sorrow
But if we are wise, we know that there’s always tomorrow
Lean on me when you’re not strong
I’ll be your friend; I’ll help you carry on,
For it won’t be long ’til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on.…”

As I reflected on this song, it occurred to me there have been many times in my life when I needed a friend to lean on. But there were many times when I chose the wrong somebody. Have you ever done that?

  • Is it pride?
  • Perhaps you’re afraid that your friends will see you as weak and needy. Big deal—we’re all weak and needy at one time or another!
  • Perhaps you’re afraid your friends will reject you. But the problem with that kind of thinking is that it’s never true in reverse. You’re a real friend to your friends. If one of your friends came to you for help or advice, wouldn’t your heart be open to them? Of course it would! That’s what friends are for.
  • Is it that we don’t want to let those closest to us know that we have problems? Hello! We all have problems! You know that, and your friends know it, too.
  • You might be saying something to yourself like, “I’m not sure I have enough friends in my life who can or will help me.” Sure you do! Trust me, “You Got Who!” You just have to: Remember, Reach Out and Re-Connect.

Friends often come into our lives at just the right moment to help and encourage us to the next level. I don’t think that’s by chance. Every significant change in your life will involve your “Who.” They’re already there. Like the song says…

“For it won’t be long til I’m gonna need somebody to lean on!”
Watching the USC Trojan’s friendship & team unity should worry opponents this year!

Unleash the Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!

Are you a Yes or No person? Take the test!

29 Sep

Ok, it’s a Silly movie-But I liked it! Yes Man with Jim Carrey of course goes over the top on saying “Yes” to everyone. But…we all know “No” people and thats definitely Not working for them or their lives.

What if… we started saying “YES” to those we love? Actually helped them! Call it a test this weekend! You’ll be amazed at the results!

Are you a “Yes” person?? Before you answer–ask yourself?
When your mate or close friends call: they’re in a crisis-do you respond Yes/No?
How about simple requests-helping clean the kitchen, drop the kids at school, pick up something, give em a backrub, or just take a moment to listen? Yes/No?

Remember… “A True Friend will try to help you Right Now. When you call for help the answer is “YES!” A No Person…we know their response–they merely wish you well.”

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!
“YES!” is the New NO!

Defining Self through Self-Reflection & Through Inquiry of Others

8 Sep

One of the top family business consultants (Founder of Dialogue Solutions , Inc.) in the country, and Author of Exit Right, (Mark N. Voeller, Ph.D.) for succession, governance & conflict management just wrote this blog on The Power of WHO.

A 3rd gen family member, with whom I consult, recently expressed his enthusiasm about a book entitled The Power of WHO. At first I was puzzled since the focus appeared to be about using your network of close friends to secure a job. The author’s initial premise (the people who know you and like you are much more likely to help you than some acquaintance separated by more than three-degrees-of-separation) seemed obvious if not simplistic. However, as I read on, it became clear that the author’s premise was much deeper and therefore so meaningful for my client.

Bob Beaudine, the author, drives the reader to consider more carefully:

  • Our view of ourselves
  • Our view of our relationships
  • And our approach to pursuing satisfaction

The book is about building genuine relationships and asking those who are already in our cheering squad for help identifying our strengths and passions. Without resorting to psycho-babble, Beaudine outlines a process for defining self through self-reflection and through inquiry of others.

I simplistically reduce much of what is written about self-esteem to the premise that the more effectively I can identify and accept my own point of view, preferences, emotional responses, and personal strengths / limitations, the greater my comfort with self. The greater my self-acceptance, the greater my sense of self – my self-esteem. Beaudine effectively encourages his readers to accept their own “Who” by being open and fully honest with those “Who” know them best.

He points out that whether we are discussing losing a job or some other awkward moment in our lives, “…you don’t feel comfortable talking to your friends and telling anyone about this. So you slide to a bunker alone.” Effectively, we cut ourselves off from those who best know us and our potential. The antidote, according to Beaudine, is to turn to those who know us, and who we really are, and to focus on who we ultimately want to be.

Part of his prescription for pursuing who we ultimately want to be involves:

  • Seeking feedback from those friends who know us so intimately.
  • It follows that in order to have those 3 close friends, we have to reveal and confide in 3 friends.
  • The balance of his prescription involves hearing and replacing the negative self-talk that scurries around our brain.
  • Alternatively Beaudine prescribes the use of a positive thinking process – a conscious effort to reaffirm our goals and the gifts that we uniquely possess which will help us achieve those goals.

If you pick up this little book, I encourage you not to be put off by the first couple of chapters. I must say that I initially found the first couple of chapters a little boring and repetitive. Beaudine’s excessive use of “who” caused me to reflect on the style used so effectively by Dr. Seuss. However, once past that hurdle and upon appreciating the larger message, I believe you will find that the author offers foundational principles that are easily understood. His enthusiasm and warmly presented stories bring these key concepts to life. You and your clients will remember his stories long after the book is returned to the shelf.

Unleash The Power of WHO in your friends & family’s lives today!

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