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Five Tips to Help You Help Your Friends Who are Out of Work!

1 Jun

As CEO of Eastman & Beaudine, one of the major executive search firms in the country, I get calls every day from people who share their hurt after losing their job. Some tell me they didn’t even like their job, in fact, they felt they were tolerated and not celebrated in it. But… the thought that they were now
being outplaced, downsized, pink slipped, asked to take early retirement or even worse being fired caught them so off guard that they felt like they were hit by a brick. For many,  it’s so disruptive and demoralizing that it becomes…too much to handle.

Today, there are still close to 14 million people out of a job–People all around you. Their world has been turned upside down. Who are these people? Do we care? Of course we do! They’re our friends, our family, neighbors, our sons and daughters coming home from the military as well as members at our local church.  This problem hasn’t gone away and yet the newspapers don’t seem to talk about it much anymore,  even though it impacts every family and community? How can that be?

So what exactly do You say to people when you hear they lost their job? What advice do you give a close, dear friend? Do you act as if it didn’t happen, thinking they would tell you if they really wanted to? Do you wait for them to reach out? Well, that might be ok if you’re just an acquaintance, but it’s not ok for friends… is it?!

What are they feeling? I can tell you from experience, they’re embarrassed & panicked. They’re thinking “What am I going to do now?” “Will I be able to find another job?” “What are people going to think about me?” These fear questions can paralyze people. They seem to lead them to the same emotional place: isolation and fear. When people feel threatened it becomes very difficult to tell ourselves the truth. A fog rolls in and takes residence in our minds and all of a
sudden–we’re not able to think clearly. So who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Friends or strangers? Unfortunately people aren’t turning to family & friends and they are the Key! It’s these loved ones that can step in and call a halt to fearful thinking and can intercept us on our dark path—they can remind us that we’re not alone, we’re not isolated and that we have a future and a hope!

So How Can You Help Your Friends? Here are FIVE tips to SHARE!

  1. Reach Out! Not by text or email-Call them or stop by their house. Tell them you heard of their situation, you’re sorry this has occurred but go ahead and shock them by saying: “Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!” Why? Because they now get to pick a job they truly Love, with people they Love, in a place they Love, where their family Loves it and where they can do it for all the right reasons.  Best of all-You want to help! Set up a coffee/lunch to strategize next steps!
  2. In the meantime, tell them You want them to read a Special book that will encourage and help them called The Power of WHO! My hope is that you’ll Give them the Book! It’s a great declaration of friendship! I am always touched when someone sends or gives me a book. They won’t forget it! Sign it to them in the front of the book. Say something like this: “Friends are treasures! Thanks for your friendship & love all these years!! When I read this book, I thought about us! I’m All-In!”
  3. Teach & Review the 100/40 strategy that I outline in the book when you meet with them for lunch! Remind them: “You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!” In fact, explain the amazing truth that “They already know someone right now who knows another person who will introduce them to the person they need to meet.” Tell them the Good News: No more colds calls, No more mass emails, No “networking groups” you have to go to where you’re forced to sit in pairs with people you have no connection with and talk about issues and problems in each other’s lives- Going to these is one notch above a sharp stick in the eye! It’s just about friends helping friends!
  4. When You make the “Extra Effort” to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that’s never wasted. And what your Friend desperately needs more than anything right now is encouragement from their trusted friend-YOU. They need you to put a firm hand on their shoulder to help stabilize them. They need you to remind them that they are a treasure chest of gifts and talents and that there are still greater things ahead for them! This is where family/friends can really make a difference in boosting morale! Your love helps them believe again!
  5. Finally- be a “Moment Maker!” Most people can recall that “One Special Person” who took timeout to help them and it turned their life around for the better. When someone you admire and respect believes in you, it changes everything. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Help a Friend today! Reach out! Creating these extraordinary moments doesn’t cost you a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

Click SHARE— To “Help a Friend” in Need!

The Truly Successful Person Inspires and Helps Others!

31 Dec

Nobody knew… that the young man with a beard sneaking on to the lot pretending to work there would one day become the most famous movie director in the world. Eventually, Steven Spielberg got the break he needed and forever changed the course of the motion picture industry. Somewhere along the way, he had a strategic moment with a “Somebody” who encouraged him and opened a door for him.

Take a moment this last day of the year & remember back on the times in your life when others were that “Somebody” for you. Perhaps it was someone who helped you through a difficult passage in your life or got you that important interview or hired you when no one else would or gave you a great reference— “just because.” Let’s challenge ourselves this year to step outside our comfort zone, even when it’s seemingly inconvenient, and be “moment makers” in 2011.

7 Power of WHO Tips:

  1. Most people can recall that special person who took the time to create a “magic moment” for them that turned their life around for the better. Call them today and Thank them!
  2. When someone you admire & respect believes in you, it changes everything. Lets be that for others!
  3. All it takes is one great mentor, coach, or friend to share the insight that will help you leapfrog over your competition or help get you back on track. But this will only happen if you’re humble to listen & accept their help.
  4. Everyone has a “Who” network, a “community of friends” that’s been built up over many years with love & unconditional giving. These are friends who genuinely care about you & share your core values. This particular network of friends, if asked, will actually come to your aid. They want you to succeed. They want you to achieve your goals. And they love you just the way you are. But you must-Ask!
  5. Don’t try to do this thing called “My Way.” I’ll just let you in on a basic truth about life. It’s designed so that there’s a built-in guarantee that you don’t always get to do it your way. You’re going to need some help from time to time. Your “Who” friends can do just that!
  6. The family/friends you we’re given in life will undergird you with a power you don’t have on your own. They’ll ask their “Who” to help you get you where you want to go. They’ll open doors for you that you couldn’t open alone and get you connected.
  7. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Creating extraordinary moments doesn’t cost us a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!

**You hold the access key to your friends & families goals/dreams. You can be that “Somebody” this year! What an opportunity! Be Ready! Remember, Reach Out & Re-Connect! Happy New Year My friend! God Bless!

No Friends Allowed? Big Mistake!

20 Oct

Front page news tells us that– 15 million people are still out of a job! UGH! Seems even college kids can’t get a job after graduation? I heard the number is close to 70 percent ?? I thought getting a job after college was an inalienable right! Add to that–69 % of the country that have a job feel that– “A bad day at the beach is better than a good day at work.”  What’s going on? What’s wrong? I’ll tell you. It comes down to two Big Mistakes. The first involves a teaching today many have bought into about friends/business and the second is a ridiculously flawed strategy called “Networking!”  Let’s look closer.

1.      Friends/Business

  • Have you noticed that over the years there’s now a prevailing philosophy that   friends/business are taboo? Did you know that some portions of the country actually believe that asking for help from friends is rude? So let me get this correct? We’re supposed to work with people we don’t know and don’t trust? On big issues in life we’re supposed to seek out help from strangers? Ridiculous! Add now all these Ponzi schemes/Madoff shenanigans-Can it be we have stooped so low that we now have to ‘disclose friendship as evil’ instead of ‘declaring it as great’? The concept of “No friends allowed” in business today is proving to be a Big Mistake!
  • It’s a false notion to think that yours or my success will come from a bunch of people we don’t know. Don’t expect strangers or even acquaintances to care about you or your goals unless they perceive a desired benefit for themselves. On the other hand, life gets really exciting when it begins to dawn on you that you have some “friends” willing to help. Most people rarely think of their friends as conduits to achieving their dreams/goals. But friends come pre-wired with a strong desire to help you. What if they also actually had the power to cause something big to happen for you? Now wouldn’t that rock your world!

 

2. “Networking”

  • Take everything you have ever heard or learned about networking and just throw it out. I can make such a radical statement because, based on my thirty-plus years in the executive recruiting business, I can tell you unequivocally: “Networking” as we know it is crap. It doesn’t work!
  • What does “Networking” mean today? Faceless websites, handing out business cards at conferences to strangers like they’re mints, sending résumés to recruiters: Dear Sir, To Whom It May Concern, or Dear Recruiter. Dear Recruiter-Isn’t that an oxymoron? Does any of this work? NO! You might as well buy a lottery ticket. E-mail résumés sent in a non-relational way is junk mail-Its spam and you just got deleted. Why? Who has time to read it? Nobody! If you didn’t even take the time to come up with an actual person’s name, it’s not much better than grabbing a name randomly out of a company directory or phone book. Big Mistake!

Learn a better way! Check out The Power of WHO today, a STEP by STEP plan to help you win at business and life through the Power of Relationships. www.powerofwho.com

Don’t View the Current Roadblock in Your Life as a Disaster. Just Take the Detour!

7 Sep

Detours take you off the main road into unfamiliar territory. Unexpected turns can disorient you unless you have the rare ability to stay alert and immediately acclimate to your new circumstances. When you hit a detour (and “hit” is the proper expression because that’s what it feels like), the first thing you need to realize is that your windshield is a whole lot bigger than your rearview mirror. You can’t get back on the old road. That road has run out. It will do you absolutely no good to dwell on the past. Order yourself, “Eyes forward!”

There are 5 rock-solid rule regarding detours that will help you tremendously while you traverse the bumpy roads of life. I want you to write them down and keep themwhere you’ll see it every day until it becomes a part of you, for it will be a very powerful ally. It’s that important. It will give you the power to maintain your equilibrium as you encounter the detours.

Power of WHO Tips:

  1. Regard the unknown as friendly and ultimately beneficial.
  2. Remember, when you come to a roadblock don’t fret-Take the detour!  Detours are not permanent. They’re not the road to your destiny. It’s a necessary but temporary side route.
  3. Perhaps there are some things you need to acquire or learn on this detour. Maybe there’s someone you need to meet who holds the key to your destiny and who will help you succeed.
  4. A detour could also mean you help someone else achieve their goals, and in the process discover some key elements you’ll need to accomplish on your own.
  5. Learn to view every problem you encounter as “an opportunity in disguise.” Don’t get angry and don’t get discouraged when you are called to a stop or pressed off the main road. Remember, the road to success is always under construction.

Mike Singletary and The Power of WHO

10 Aug

I had the opportunity to hear Baylor University football great Mike Singletary give a motivational talk to the Baylor basketball team as the season was about to begin. Baylor’s outstanding basketball coach, Scott Drew, asked Mike, “When you first came to Baylor, you weren’t really expected to make the football team. So, when did you decide you wouldn’t just make the team, but you’d be a starter? Not just a starter but an all-conference linebacker? Not just all-conference, but someone who achieves all-American status? Not just all-American, but an NFL player? Not just an NFL player, but an all-pro eight times, going to the Pro Bowl ten times? And finally, not only that, but becoming a Hall of Fame linebacker recognized as one of the ‘top three’ players to ever play the game at your position? When did you decide all that?”

Mike responded, “Day one! When I got to campus the first day, I went immediately to the defensive coach and asked him if he would write down exactly what I needed to do to become the best defensive player who ever played at the university. The coach laughed and said, ‘That’s nice, Mike, but let’s not worry about that just now. How about just trying to make the team?’ I wouldn’t take that for an answer, so I said, ‘Coach, please, write down for me exactly what I have to do, and I’ll do it!’ The coach was stunned, and I’m not sure he knew exactly what to put on paper.” After thinking about it for a couple of days, the coach came back with a list.
It was broken into three parts:

  1. Robust Physical Goals. This would mean lots of training time in the weight room. (If completed, it would make Mike the strongest player on the team.)
  2. Nutrition. Eating the right foods in the proper amounts and not eating certain other foods.
  3. Study. Extra time spent in order to understand all facets of Baylor’s defensive schemes. (This would require Mike to spend hours and hours watching film on the teams he would face, dissecting their offensive strategies.) Mike then stopped and told Scott’s team: “Everybody wants things and has dreams, but that’s not enough if you want to be the best.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. All jobs have competency standards that require a fundamental knowledge, ability, or expertise in a specific subject or skill set.  Attaining these basic standards of competence requires a price to be paid. It takes study, practice, and a strong work ethic.
  2. Be Like Mike! Be willing to pay the price. This requires vision and a plan with specific goals written out. Once Mike saw the plan and the specific goals the coach wrote out for him, he knew it would be tough. There just weren’t enough hours for all this plus the study and social aspects of college life.  Something would have to give, and it couldn’t be his studies. The rest is sports history.
  3. Resolve today not to let competency be a hindrance. Start working on your gifts and talents now. Enjoy each step in the learning and growing process and be willing to pay the price.

Big interview ahead? Pick your references carefully. Here’s 5 tips!

13 Jul

 

One of the biggest names in college basketball coaching called me on behalf of a candidate. The only problem was that the big-time coach mispronounced the guy’s name that he supposedly knew so well. Ouch! I wasn’t impressed. As a matter of fact, it had the opposite effect. Pick your references carefully.

Power of WHO Tips

  1. Having people who barely know you make calls on your behalf is risky. It’s a potential minefield simply because you don’t know how the people you’re using as references are being perceived on the other end.  So, tread lightly and choose wisely.
  2. If you happen to know the hiring person’s best friend or boss/mentor—now that’s gold! Doing the research to find out if you know any friends or associates of the hiring executive is time well spent.
  3. There’s another unseen danger with references. Having worked with thousands of candidates during the last thirty years, I can confidently predict that if you give me six or seven references, one of them will trash you. It really hurts to know that the person who trashed you is a name you gave as a reference. That one bad reference could cost you your Dream Job.
  4. Make sure that all the names you provide as personal references come only from your “Who” friends.
  5. Having great references, endorsements, and testimonials are your most powerful allies. When someone else says you’re great, you are! So choose your references carefully and you won’t have to toot your own horn.

Get Yourself a Library Card!

8 Jul

I Made A Huge Mistake earlier in my life by not reading more.

Whatever Your Age, I want to encourage you to read, read, and read as much as you can! I once heard Jim Rohn (one of the top motivational speakers in the country) say: everything you need for your better future and success has already been written. And guess what? It’s all available. All you have to do is go to the library.

But Would You Believe that only three percent of the people in America have a library card? Wow, they must be expensive!  No, they’re free.  And there’s probably a library in every neighborhood.”

I’m Now the Proud Owner of a Library Card. Do yourself an enormous favor. Join the ranks of the three percent today! It’s probably not a coincidence that three percent of the country possesses 97 percent of the wealth.  All the success books I’ve read agree with Jim–“There is no difference between someone who can’t read and one who chooses not to read. They both end up the same—ignorant.”

 5 Power of WHO Tips on Why You Should Read?

  1. Your Brain is a muscle. Giving it a daily reading workout –makes it sharper & you smarter! We all want to be smarter don’t we?
  2. Read me a story Dad! Yes, by all means-Do it! Reading out loud to your kids builds an emotional bond that will last a lifetime! Don’t miss this opportunity! It’s your time-just the two of you!
  3. Study after study show- The most well read of course are– the most successful!
  4. What’s crazy good about reading is that the books you will come to love to read will actually become your friends, counselors, mentors and advisors! We all need them!
  5. Finally, reading helps you learn how to “Connect”. You see, knowing interesting stories about; history, politics, sports, arts, animals, cars,  etc… will make you more interesting! People gravitate to those who are thought provoking, stimulating, creative and inspiring! So! Looking for a Job/Big Sale/Need a Date/A Richer Life? My Tip–Start Reading/Get a Library Card!