As CEO of Eastman & Beaudine, one of the major executive search firms in the country, I get calls every day from people who share their hurt after losing their job. Some tell me they didn’t even like their job, in fact, they felt they were tolerated and not celebrated in it. But… the thought that they were now
being outplaced, downsized, pink slipped, asked to take early retirement or even worse being fired caught them so off guard that they felt like they were hit by a brick. For many, it’s so disruptive and demoralizing that it becomes…too much to handle.
Today, there are still close to 14 million people out of a job–People all around you. Their world has been turned upside down. Who are these people? Do we care? Of course we do! They’re our friends, our family, neighbors, our sons and daughters coming home from the military as well as members at our local church. This problem hasn’t gone away and yet the newspapers don’t seem to talk about it much anymore, even though it impacts every family and community? How can that be?
So what exactly do You say to people when you hear they lost their job? What advice do you give a close, dear friend? Do you act as if it didn’t happen, thinking they would tell you if they really wanted to? Do you wait for them to reach out? Well, that might be ok if you’re just an acquaintance, but it’s not ok for friends… is it?!
What are they feeling? I can tell you from experience, they’re embarrassed & panicked. They’re thinking “What am I going to do now?” “Will I be able to find another job?” “What are people going to think about me?” These fear questions can paralyze people. They seem to lead them to the same emotional place: isolation and fear. When people feel threatened it becomes very difficult to tell ourselves the truth. A fog rolls in and takes residence in our minds and all of a
sudden–we’re not able to think clearly. So who do you turn to in a time of crisis? Friends or strangers? Unfortunately people aren’t turning to family & friends and they are the Key! It’s these loved ones that can step in and call a halt to fearful thinking and can intercept us on our dark path—they can remind us that we’re not alone, we’re not isolated and that we have a future and a hope!
So How Can You Help Your Friends? Here are FIVE tips to SHARE!
- Reach Out! Not by text or email-Call them or stop by their house. Tell them you heard of their situation, you’re sorry this has occurred but go ahead and shock them by saying: “Congratulations! This is the greatest day of your life!” Why? Because they now get to pick a job they truly Love, with people they Love, in a place they Love, where their family Loves it and where they can do it for all the right reasons. Best of all-You want to help! Set up a coffee/lunch to strategize next steps!
- In the meantime, tell them You want them to read a Special book that will encourage and help them called The Power of WHO! My hope is that you’ll Give them the Book! It’s a great declaration of friendship! I am always touched when someone sends or gives me a book. They won’t forget it! Sign it to them in the front of the book. Say something like this: “Friends are treasures! Thanks for your friendship & love all these years!! When I read this book, I thought about us! I’m All-In!”
- Teach & Review the 100/40 strategy that I outline in the book when you meet with them for lunch! Remind them: “You Already Know Everyone You Need To Know!” In fact, explain the amazing truth that “They already know someone right now who knows another person who will introduce them to the person they need to meet.” Tell them the Good News: No more colds calls, No more mass emails, No “networking groups” you have to go to where you’re forced to sit in pairs with people you have no connection with and talk about issues and problems in each other’s lives- Going to these is one notch above a sharp stick in the eye! It’s just about friends helping friends!
- When You make the “Extra Effort” to celebrate, encourage, and help others, it establishes stronger bonds of friendship. Each time you do it, it’s an investment that’s never wasted. And what your Friend desperately needs more than anything right now is encouragement from their trusted friend-YOU. They need you to put a firm hand on their shoulder to help stabilize them. They need you to remind them that they are a treasure chest of gifts and talents and that there are still greater things ahead for them! This is where family/friends can really make a difference in boosting morale! Your love helps them believe again!
- Finally- be a “Moment Maker!” Most people can recall that “One Special Person” who took timeout to help them and it turned their life around for the better. When someone you admire and respect believes in you, it changes everything. In the same way, there are people who look up to you. You have the power to open the door to someone’s dreams and goals just by believing in them and letting them know it! Help a Friend today! Reach out! Creating these extraordinary moments doesn’t cost you a dime, but I promise—it pays huge dividends!
Click SHARE— To “Help a Friend” in Need!
The Power of WHO! 
Love what you have to say, Bob. When I was confronted with job loss a couple years back it was a scary time. I always say my last day was the “first” day in a new chapter in my life. That’s really how I feel. The relationships in my life were key to getting me through the transition. Now relationships are what my new career centers around. I love the changes. Thanks for reminding us how powerful our relationships are and how important they are.
Fantastic article. I love your counsel because it merges great philosophy with practicle tips that work and…. it’s concise. Great combination!